The Students of Christian College

Remember life before college? I was pretty easy, right? Who needs math when you’ve got a calculator? Sleeping in class was so much easier to get away with. And I didn’t even learn to read until my junior year of high school. Now that you’re in college, you have to deal with the extensive reading assignments, the sleepless nights, and the profs all up in yo’ grill. The laid back high school life doesn’t translate well into the college years. You’re a scholar now; time to be serious. College is just like a Catholic wedding ceremony: if you’re having fun, you’re doing it wrong.

Of course I’m exaggerating. Everyone’s experienced high school differently, and can make their own judgments about college in comparison. There are four major demographics of high schoolers that end up at Christian college, and I hope I can offend them all equally (but preferably not at all): the homeschooler, the missionary kid (MK), the private schooler, and the public schooler. I’ve grown up a public schooler my whole life, but I’ve dressed like a private schooler, I’ve gotten out probably just about as much as a homeschooler, and I drive like an MK, so I’d say I’m pretty much a professional on stuff like this. So whether you went to public school, your kitchen school, private school, or desert school, this post is for you. My hope with this post is not to make fun, but rather to break down some of the stereotypes people have.

The Homeschooler
According to a good number of public schoolers, “You can spot a homeschooler from a mile away.” I can’t do that, but I can tell you these facts. They’re generally known for being super awkward, and introverted only under the circumstances that a debate about evolution isn’t introduced. At that point, you may need to walk away because by the end of that discussion, you may feel accused of not loving Jesus anymore. Many homeschoolers major in music, but those who don’t are sick violinists anyway. They use it to rock out to Skillet.

The MK
The reason the MK is in a separate category is because they all receive different types of schooling from all kinds of ethnic backgrounds, but somehow they know exactly how to relate to each other. It’s as if the whole world works in a certain way and they’re not sharing any of those great ideas with America. I think that’s really the only reason we still call it soccer. Speaking of soccer, if you see someone walking around on campus wearing a soccer jersey who isn’t on a soccer team, ask them to say something in a different language. MKs love that. They really do.

The Private Schooler
They’re pretty easy to spot. They’re usually the ones trying a little too hard to subtly break the dress code. No one wants to be accused of having had their high school principal pick out their clothes every morning. Or do private schools not do the uniform thing anymore? I really don’t know since they’re so private. (See what I did there?) Anyway, you’d rarely see a private schooler in the teacher education department because, really, who wants to go through that again?

The Public Schooler
Perfectly normal in every way. Except for the fact that everyone who wasn’t in the “in” crowd in high school is hoping to start off on a new leaf in college far, far away. It’s their time to reinvent themselves. And that, of course, means piercings. All over their faces. I’m just waiting for my parents to let me.