Napolean Dynamite Night

Where can you find a live llama, a 20 lb. bunny rabbit, some students yacking up milk and trying to step around the congealed puddles that form around them, and a cafeteria, that, for a change, is adequately providing its hungry masses with healthy food such as tater tots and quesadillas? The answer is, the same place where you can draw a Lyger, or create a bracelet, or do some karaoke to Disney songs.

In an attempt to create a tribute event for the film, Napoleon Dynamite, the SGA, on February 25th, threw a celebration that would make even the greatest skeptics mutter in a low monotone accent and say, “Garwsh!” As the events took place, I talked to the SGA vice president, Emily Ambrose, and asked her who had the imaginative brilliance to come up with this activity. She very humbly informed me that it was a group effort of all the members of the SGA.

From the student center lounge to the dining hall, the night was filled with reminders of the highly intense comedy. In the lobby, there was karaoke singing. Though all of the song selections were Disney tunes, the students didn’t seem to mind. From there, the curious student could spend their time imitating Deb and making their own colorful bracelets, or drawing a Lyger, the mythological creature of Napoleon’s design, or watching the grisly excitement of the milk drinking contest, situated outside.

If that wasn’t enough excitement, students shared the privilege of petting an obese bunny rabbit, or the disgruntled llama, or some chickens, or a goat, in the petting zoo. Ambrose informed me that the animals were courtesy of a Toccoa Falls alumnus who has connections at a facility called Wildlife Wonders. We would have had them to thank if the llama decided to run amuck through the dorms and attack students, but unfortunately it behaved. However, although the llama was peaceful the students were not.

There were the violent sounds of regurgitation outside of the steps headed towards the library. Four brave students decided to enter themselves in the milk drinking contest, Nick Egbert, Quinn Angel, Andrew Ether, and Matthew Sanders. The goal was to simply see how much milk one can drink, and though there may have been one definite winner, all of the students that witnessed the bright white milk splashing out into the concrete came out enlightened in some way.

From there however, the contest winners in the events were debatable. Some attending thought The Deb look-alike contest was clearly won by Amanda Anderson based on the greater applause, and better costume, but Crystal Hankin was declared the winner by the SGA member in charge.

However, this was barely noticed as students gathered into the dining hall with their trays filled to the brim with tater tots and quesadillas. There was a large projector and the movie played smoothly, with only one glitch, and students loved the movie as if it just came out. So despite it all, the Napoleon Dynamite event was a supreme success. Evidence of the fun will be drying in the sun Monday morning near the steps to the dining hall.

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About Will Bontrager

I am William Bontrager. Who I am: I am a synthesis of many random things. I was in and out of the army, in and out of a Philly art school, and now I am surrounded by home schooled eighteen year olds that run from me because I have facial hair and speak in a deep voice. Stuff I love: I have Amish cousins and some lyrical ability in which I perform sometimes for a drooling audience. My favorite writers are Dostoevsky (and that is not just being pretentious, I actually have read his work), and comic books with Spider-Man, Wolverine, and Richard Simmons. On the serious side, I am here at Toccoa because I experienced a remarkable small fellowship when I was deployed near the Syrian Border, and when I got out, I longed for that fellowship again. Being somewhat artistic, and knowing that I wanted to meet fellow Christians, and witnessing other Christian schools giving me the run around, it landed me at Toccoa Falls College. I love to draw, write, rap, skateboard, and spend time thinking about life to the soothing sounds of Kenny G. Why I'm Here: If any single ladies would like to complain about my writings then I may pencil you in. I love the Lord, but I do not make a show of it. Your life should reflect it inwardly before you talk of it outwardly. It has been rough here, but God is amazing, works miracles, and his mercies are massive. Thanks.